Am I Alone?

I often wonder when something, I feel is, unpleasant happens to myself, "am I all alone in this" "is this just happening to me?

I don't mean physically alone or spiritually alone, this is not one of those types of thoughts or feelings. My relationships are great in that regard. I am talking about;

• When it is 3am, my 2-year-old is screaming at me because he thinks his nap should be over and he should be allowed to watch his "bideos". 
• When I have to send my oldest to his room for what seems to be the millionth time today for doing things he knows he is not supposed to do.
• When I finally get what seems like 2 seconds of alone time where it seems like everyone forgot I am around and my husband needs me to do something.
• When I am at the grocery store and I start getting a roll of texts and videos about how much the kids miss me when I am gone, even though when I am home I could swear the opposite was true!

Am I the only one who has these things happen and then feel like I am being ungrateful for the many blessings in my life?

I know you are allowed to give yourself a time out to feel bad and then you are supposed to put your big girl panties on and deal with it, but sometimes that is hard (especially when you are sleep deprived).

I don't have many people that I can talk with about these things. I am a stay-at-home-mom in a rural area and there are just not many people around me that seem to have issues with handling it all. I have my Mother and My Aunt (which is my Mom's twin) that I can ask advice, but they grew up in a different time and place to me so a lot of what they suggest I really can not relate too. 

This is why I decided to try my hand at blogging.

There are so many more of you out there than here in my little bubble. 

I hope that I can offer some advice, or at least laughs, along the way. Help answer some questions and try out some of your ideas with my bunch and report back on how it worked/didn't work. Most importantly I feel like I need a place to reach out to the world and see if there are people out there with similarities with myself so I don't feel so alone all the way up here on this mountain.

Until Next Time,

Maria

Messages For Some People on this Holiday

Friends,

"Better friends could never be found, You can look high & low the whole world around, Of good times and bad mile after mile, The memories we've made always make me smile, So, a hug & thank you in this letter I send, To show you my love because you're my best friend."

Mother,

"When I was a child, I never doubted that you were with me every step of the way. Whether I was at home or away, I felt your presence, supporting me in everything I did. Now that I’m a parent, I’m even more aware of the sacrifices you made for me. I can only now truly appreciate the strength of the love you have given me all of these years. As time goes on, I know your example has empowered me to be the best parent I can be. Because of you, I’m able to give my kids the same priceless gift that you gave me: Yourself."

Father,

"As a child, When I fell asleep on the way home from grandma’s I’d wake up later in my bed, wondering how I got there. You carried me in your arms. When I ran ahead of the family during a hike in the woods, I’d run out of energy, wondering how I’d make it back to the car. You gave me a ride on your shoulders. When I jumped into the waves, leaping over the surf, I’d drift out too far, wondering how I’d swim back to shore. You held me above the foam with strong hands. Now today, When I go out into the world ready to take on anything, I suddenly lose my confidence, wondering how I’ll get through the day. You inspire me with your words. Thank you, Dad, for being there each and every time I’ve needed you."

Husband,

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."

Brother,

Sister,

Child,

Some Tips on giving "Good Advice"

Good Advice

Finding the right words

My note on this is I wish they handed this out to everyone. I get frustrated when people use the same clichés for every situation. I love this article that is why I want to share it with all of you. Pass it on, use it, or throw it away I don't care but at least read it because I believe it can make a condolence sound more genuine. 

Less Helpful

• “God doesn’t give you any more than you can handle”
• “What doesn't kill you makes your stronger”
• “You need to be strong like your mother.”
• “You need to be strong for your mother.” (or for your children, family, coworker.)
• “Be strong, and you’ll get through it.”
• “Keep the faith.”
• “This was part of God’s plan.”
• “This was God’s will.”
• “God works in mysterious ways.”
• “God tests your faith.”
• “You need to pray more.”
• “Something good will come out of this.”
• “It happened for the best.”
• “You are lucky that your _____ died peacefully.”
• “Be grateful it wasn’t worse.”
• “You shouldn't get so angry.”
• “You’re going to be just fine.”
• “Keep a positive attitude — its better for your health.”
• “Why didn’t you leave sooner?”
• “Why didn't your ____ call you sooner?”
• “Why do you think God is putting you through this?”
• “You should feel lucky. What you are going through is nothing like what _____ went through.”
• “Your problem is not as bad as what my ___ is going through with ___.”
• “It’s time to put this behind you.”
• “You need to keep busy, and get back to work.”
• “You have your whole life ahead of you.”
• “Just think about what you will be doing by this time next year.”
• “I understand how you feel.”
• “I know what that’s like.”

More Helpful

• “How are you doing with all of this?”
• “I’m so glad you showed up here today.”
• “ I am here if you want to talk.”
• “I can only imagine how you’ve coped.”
• “I’m thinking of you everyday.”
• “What has helped you get through the past few days?”
• “I hope things get easier for you soon.”
• “I can offer my help, if you like.”
• “It sounds hard, getting through these days.”
• “I’ll be sending you my thoughts and prayers.”
• “It sounds impossible to see what’s ahead.”
• “I’m so sorry this has happened.”
• “I was so sad to hear the news about your ___.”
• “You’ve had to deal with a lot at once.”
• “It isn't fair, is it?”
• “I believe in you.”
• “Sounds like you were going through hell.”
• “I’m sorry to hear no one called you in time.”
• “What you just told me sounds outrageous.”
• “You already had enough on your plate.”
• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “I am so sorry this has happened to you.”
• “This might take time.”
• “I believe you’ll know the right time to return to work.”
• “Allow some time for this.”
• “Take all of the time you need for yourself.”
• “I can only imagine how hard this must be.”
• “Do you mind telling me what it is like?”
• “Tell me more, if you like.”

Sometimes we forget that when a person is going through something all they want is someone to listen. Not to feel sorry for them. Let the person know you are going through it with them, not for them.

An article out of December 2010 Good Housekeeping Magazine.